Dear Doctor Goon,
Recently I asked you how to scratch an itch in public without offending innocent bystanders. While I found you advice or "Just scratch that itch" to be informative and enlightening I have to say it might not have been the best advice I was ever given. I respect your opinion on the subject but I feel I was offered unsound advice if only from the stand point of some people just do not understand how much "nuts real can itch". So while I was in Florida I took your advice and "just scratched that sack" and here are my results of your advice.
I feel since no one proceeded in helping me in fixing my problem and I was charged with public nut scratching (which is a misdemeanor) that this thread should be closed on the account of unsound "ask Doctor Goon" advice. While I have to admit that I am skeptical of the actual fact the Goon is indeed a Doctor or even has held a position of public counseling, I am forgiving in the fact that I do not blame Goon for my nut itch phenomena. The itching sensation that I have endured is indeed not an artifact of Dr. Goons advice but my ill placement of my male parts into unsavory female organs. This is not the point I am trying to drive home, what I am trying to bring to light is the fact that Dr. Goon's advice of "Just scratch those Nuts" is not representative of sound nut advice when in public.
I would like to raise a motion to remove the Doctor status from a man who haphazardly throws nut scratching advice around like it is a small child on Sandusky penis, it just isn't right and I am here to tell you that nut scratching should and will always be done in the privates of the owners home and parts.
Dr. Goon's advice is given two thumbs buried in the nut sack and should be severely scrutinized by anyone needing or taking advice.
This is your public service announcement by NY8123.