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Thread: How's my Nut!

  1. -1
    NY8123's Avatar
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    Bullseye How's my Nut!

    True story to lighten your 4th. My friends are lighting fireworks off the end of my dock. I'm sitting at the fire pit, I say to the people sitting next to me, how long before these *******s blow up the end of the dock. No **** a mortar blows up in the tube, fire everywhere. My best friend comes screaming off the dock, hobbling. My nut, my nut! The mortar hit him right in the left nut. The nut is swollen and bleeding, he's sitting here with a ice cold coors light on his nut.

    I cannot stop laughing about it. All in all he was lucky but goddamn what a funny ass event. I had to share this priceless story. How good is a mortar to your best friends nut on the fourth!
    "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally" ~ W.C. Fields

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    cbreeden's Avatar
    Pimpin' ain't easy

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    Nothing says 'good times' like fireworks and a shot to the groin!
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    Dolfan3773's Avatar
    Bleeding 305 since 1987

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    2013 Dolphins Logo1972 Dolphins Logo
    Nutcracker...
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    NY8123's Avatar
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    The nut is going to make it, he hobbled around here yesterday with a limp but all in the the swelling is going down. I am still however cracking jokes about it at an astronomical rate. I mean the "nut jokes" flying around my house are amazing.

    I am still chuckling about this even two days later.
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  5. -5
    Bumpus's Avatar
    Are you gonna drink that?

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    They were actually firing those from a dock?!? (you need room to back the hell away after ignition ... for reasons that are now painfully obvious )



    But, more importantly:

    He put it in the tube upside-down, didn't he?
    2014 Goals:
    1) Win the next game.
    2) See goal #1





    "The problem with internet quotes lies in verifying their authenticity."
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    NY8123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpus View Post
    They were actually firing those from a dock?!? (you need room to back the hell away after ignition ... for reasons that are now painfully obvious )



    But, more importantly:

    He put it in the tube upside-down, didn't he?

    Ding Ding Ding.

    It was a beautiful lake high explosion. After I made sure everyone was all right I could help but laugh historically for hours. I mean cause that's what rednecks do, we almost kill ourselves for amusement and usually while messing with something that contains gun powder while drinking beer.

    All the factors were perfect!
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  7. -7
    SpurzN703's Avatar
    I like your style Dude

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    Cam Wake 91Tannehill 172013 Dolphins Logo
    Quote Originally Posted by Bumpus View Post
    But, more importantly:

    He put it in the tube upside-down, didn't he?
    He probably was looking into the tube right before it went off



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    NY8123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhinzN703 View Post
    He probably was looking into the tube right before it went off
    No they at least had enough common sense to know something was ****ed up and tired to retreat but five half drunk rednecks trying to retreat down a 3' wide dock is like Helen Keller in a shrub maze.
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    cbreeden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NY8123 View Post
    No they at least had enough common sense to know something was ****ed up and tired to retreat but five half drunk rednecks trying to retreat down a 3' wide dock is like Helen Keller in a shrub maze.
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  10. -10
    Vaark's Avatar
    InRegioneCaecorum RexEstLusces

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    To determine if it was intact, did you at least as a friendly courtesy give it a test tickle?






    "Yep. Blow it up. This might the worst team I've ever seen constructed in my life.
    And then you throw in the terrible preparation and in-game coaching. There is no defense.
    But do it right. Fire everyone in the building. No survivors. , JiF Jetnation

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