I remember one time hitting on a girl at a bar when she suddenly tells me she actually has a boyfriend who's in jail because he helped a friend move a body after the friend had murdered somebody.
I remember standing there in stunned silence for a second when she goes, "But he (meaning the boyfriend) is a real good guy, though."
So I look straight at her and go, "So then why'd he help move the body?"
I can't remember if she said something before I walked off.
Id like to think Id maintain enough composure to make fun of him for not doing a very good job at hiding the body, followed by all the foolproof methods i would have probably used. Not sure my mind would be working on all cylinders after that doozy though.
And I have the opposite ability. Not only do women hang onto **** i do/say forever, but they blame me for **** i have nothing to do with. Two chicks i knew got locked out of their own apartment by their psycho fat bitch roommate. This was the final straw for them. Cops had to be called to get the stuff out. When helping them move(curse for having a truck and fooling around with one of them) during the last batch of items the cops left, psycho fat bitch declared if they ever saw me again they were getting a restraining order. I told her id sign on the dotted ****ing lines so long as that meant id never see the disgusting cow again.
Then of course there was the ex of mine who did amatuer porn. Apparently once you do videos on the internet, they stay on there. This was my fault, despite us not dating for 2 years.
The dating an amateur porn star one is great . The way I figure it, Ive seen enough porn that theres a good chance Ive seen your penis before.
But when the trumpets blew again and the knights charged, the name they cried was, "Stannis! Stannis! Stannis!"
Got me in a fighting mode, appreciate it gentlemen. Will return with stories of glorious conquest(verbal, physically id be hestitate about my chances of keeping my dick).