“Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons. Doesn't seem right.”
This gem was waiting in my inbox when I got to work this morning:
The safety of our associates is of utmost importance to us. This year the nesting geese seem to be even more aggressive than in the past. To protect our associates from potential injury directly by the geese or in trying to evade them, we have decided that we will have to remove and destroy the nests. We have acquired all the necessary approvals and will follow all the guidelines to ensure no harm will come to the geese, however, unfortunately, those regulations do not allow for relocation of the eggs. Once the nests are removed we will replace the mulch with a less attractive nesting material for the geese to deter them from future nest building. Thanks for understanding and supporting the need to protect all our associates and guest at Blankenbaker.
I don't know what more this board wants.
You're dead, son. Get yourself buried.