Still not one single truthful person. Liars!
Still not one single truthful person. Liars!
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
OK guys new term coined last weekend.......
I was at the bar Saturday night with two of my buddies when we get a text from one of my buddies little brothers. His brother text the following "I need to get laid and there's a hogger at the bar and I'm better looking than the dude who is trying to hog it so I swooped in and stole the hogger!!!".
With out missing a beat my other buddy looks at me and says "that **** is like some sort of Swedish term or something Swoopinhoggin'!!" And BOOM goes the DYNAMITE!!!!!!!
A new term was coined - Swoopinhoggin': when you need to get laid and you are better looking than the other guy who is trying to hog it and you swoop in and steal the hogger!!!
Ok guys a true story for you from the pages of the Filthy diaries.
Happened in late August about 3 or 4 years ago now. Relaxing on the lake all afternoon drinking some brew we decided to go back in to shore grab dinner and relax. With nothing going on around our pad we made the boat trip through the channel to the other lake to check out the scene at a buddies house. We get to the place and there is a fire going strong with about 30 people hanging out, now you add the dozen people we had an the boat with us you have a pretty good little shin dig.
I notice across the fire a girl named Adrian or as she was coined the Filthy Ham Sandwich which later transgressed into the Filthy Spam Sandwich. She was one of those taller skinny girls, not much shape, decent ass with about a small b cup and the face is a meh.........anyway I see her standing over there hanging on my buddy who happens to be a Jets fan...........
[Ok a side bar about how her name came about....a year prior I am at an after hours in my buddies bar around 4am, Spammy happens to be there and I have no idea why she was let in the door to be honest, we try to keep the after hours to reasonable women but maybe it was the shots. Regardless, being the filthy ****er that I am I decided to **** with this chick and see what became of it. She responded favorably to my demeanor and somehow my dick ended up in her hand. So while she is stroking me at this bar (It was pretty dark because it was after hours so know really knew what the hell was going on) she tries to lean over and kiss me to which I look her right in the eye and stone cold and say "no part of your body is touching me except your hand on my ****". Surprisingly it didn't seem to phase her and she was happy to continue but that isn't the point of the story, that story was to give you back ground on her nickname and why she is known as the Filthy Spam Sandwich, there are more stories about Spammy and maybe in the future I will share but for now on to the Jets fan]........
So my buddy disappears several hours later along with Spammy and of course I noticed this right off the bat and drummed up the search party. We find ol' Jetastic balls deep in Spammy behind the kitchen island, kind one of those little bars you have stools at and you eat breakfast at. Anyway in their hast they stacked the stools on top of the counter top which ended up being a mistake lol. As we rifled any item we could find over the counter top and at the Jets fan and Spammy's head couple footballs, a soccer ball, Frisbee etc...one person took it a little too far. I see out of the corner of my eye a folding lawn chair getting heaved over the counter top which comes up short and hit three of the four bar stools which all topple onto Spammy who happened to be on top.
This was a classic moment, priceless in my eyes because two of the stools and the lawn chair smashed Spammy in the head sending her in to hysteria and the other smashed the Jets fans in the face blooding his nose sending him into pissed off mood. Spammy is running around the house screaming butt naked and the Jets fan is chasing us out the door pissed off wrapped in what I think was a blanket from he couch. This only drew more attention to the scene to which everyone was now getting in one. One of the other girls from at the party snagged the blanket as he ran by derobbing him (not something you wanted to see). The Jets fan is now yards away from he house door butt naked running historically trying to find something to cover up with. Another buddy does what anyone else would do and bolted inside to quickly lock the back door to the house essentially locking him out totally from his ****.
Turns out Spammy left after that and my buddy the Jets fan found a car to dive into and after about 20 minutes we let him back into the house to get dressed. So like the Jets, even their fans cannot seem to manage even the mundane of tasks without ****ing it up or getting their dreams cursed by someone else.