The Onion's satirical humor is "hit and miss, " like the output depending on who's making the pizza at my favorite pizzeria in Coral Springs. It's easy to tell who's the skilled cook or who's the clever writer. Apparently at the Onion, he had the day off.
Wisdom from a "QB Whisperer::
"No we have our FRANCHISE QB and I want to keep him rather than get 2 guys who may or may not be productive NFL players.
Palmer's situation is different and if I had my choice between Palmer and buttfumble, I'd take buttfumble"