It all starts with our leadership council of Bush, Dansby, and Long. They were extremely mad when we cut ocho. I think the coaching staff lost the team right then and there and never gained it back. That fateful day in Philbin's office they were completely and totally at a loss why ocho was cut. The explaination given to them over this decision was extremely unsatisfing, and even though they gave lip service (not that kind you pervert) to philbin, they started to form a plan for the downfall of the 2012 dolphins.
I imagine that somewhere, probably in Reggie Bush's now empty room, his game controller still paused on a FIFA game, growing cold and unused, as a sort of memorial for the time Chad and Reggie were talking smack and quite possibly about just how the reality of Kim's ass was great to look at but the cottage cheese didn't really taste like cottage cheese in a disappointing kind of way...
The first meeting of the super leadership council was now taking place... Jake, Karlos, and Reggie are huddled around each other, each pondering thier purpose on the team that had only recently lost thier trust.
"Well, now what?" asked Karlos, always the first to break the silence.
"...and then Kim asked me if I really liked how her toes tasted, and I told her..."
"Reggie what the **** man, it's like Butterball Ryan is in here talking to us" Jake hurredly interupted Reggie.
"Shortie, if it was Butterball Ryan in here telling the story, don't you think you'd be involved somehow? probably with your finger stuck way up my ass?" Reggie shot back.
"Guys, we need to focus. If this team, or more to the point, if the coaching staff and Jeff Fireland doesn't respect the established players on this team enough to support one of us when times get rough, then we need to come up with a plan that makes them respect us." Dansby said ignoring the exchange between Reggie and Jake.
"Karlos, man, I don't know, should we really be calling Jeff "Fireland?" That seems really disrespecful"
"Jake, stop kissing his ass, he's not even in this room."
"Yeah, but ..."
"Did someone say butt? Man Kim has a really great ass"
"REGGIE!!!" Shouted Karlos and Jake in unison.
"Respect? Nah, I don't care much about that, and I don't care about money, i've earned a lot, but my faith in coaches is really low guys. First you got Sparano ball, and I get put out there in the last preseason game? Then we trade Brandon, don't draft anyone to replace him, and then just when I think we're getting somewhere with Ocho replacing him..."
"Replacing Brandon? You're kidding right? Sean was punking him in practice." interrupted Reggie
"Yeah, I gotta tell you I like the way the defense is shaping up, and Vonte is starting to get it, I tell you, I don't want to do anything to ruin what we're building on D. But if something happened to one of the D, like you guys just went through on the O, like what if we trade one of our top players on D for peanuts and we don't bring in someone to replace that player? I'd go beserk." Karlos said after some soul searching.
"Karlos, ok so you say it's going to take one more thing for you to go forward with making the coaches pay?" Jake asked raising his eyebrow and running a hand through his circa brady 2007 hair.
"I wonder if buffalo women are built like Kim?"
Both Jake and Karlos eyed Reggie with quizzical eyes.
"Ok... Jake, I think we need to conclude this meeting and leave Reggie with his cell phone memories of Kim"
"His cell phone? Nah as soon as we leave he's going to pretend he's Ray J."
Jake and Karlos quietly left the room and as they closed the door, they pretended they didn't hear Reggie's crying and tried their best to ignore Reggie screaming "Kim how could you?!? Ray J? Seriously? Wait... hey this isn't bad..."
***Thirteen Days Later***
Super Leadership Council meeting is in order.
"Feed the Wolf!" Reggie, Jake and Karlos yell in unison.
"Ok, here is what i'm thinking, Reggie, REGGIE!!! Pay attention, I want you to play about three good games, get some good will going, then just when people start to believe you are capable of running with authority, you start that dancing around thing in the backfield that you tend to do. Karlos, I want you to be you, look all intense, but you need to fake it a bit longer, say six or seven weeks in I want you to start missing tackles, and start getting lost in traffic. Oh, and do NOT make any real attempt to get an interception, just kinda bat down every ball thrown your way. Pass the word to the rest of the D that getting interceptions should be avoided, tell them to just knock the ball down every time. But to really throw them off, don't let the tight ends catch anything on you, that worked for helping us get rid of Sparano, but Philbin isn't getting fired this year, so our revenge is going to take longer."
"Ok Jake, but what are you going to do to sabotage the O?" asked Karlos.
"Me? I'm going to play really, really, really good. Like, ninty-five percent of the time. Then just when that young Rookie starts getting comfortable, i'm going to let the speed guy slip by and just clobber him. Those blindside hits add up quick and will completely ruin a Quarterback's trust in the pocket."
"Guys do you think we can include Naane in on this sabotage plan?" asked Reggie.
Raising an eyebrow Jake cracks a smile and asks "What did you have in mind Reggie?"
"Ok how about this, We tell him, that he needs to block, just like he's done in camp, but that he's not allowed to catch ANYTHING throw his way, and then after a few games of dropping everything, he's allowed to catch one, but to add insult to injury, he needs to fumble the one ball he does catch." Reggie said with a sly grin.
"Brilliant!" said Jake and Karlos excitedly.
"You know Reggie after that nazi comment a while back I was really starting to worry about you, but man, you totally redeemed yourself!" Karlos added.
"I miss Kim"
"I miss Kim too..." Karlos said.
"What?! shouted Reggie.
"Guys Let's call it a night..." Jake broke in trying to stop the tension.
"FEED THE WOLF!!!"
***fade to black***