More Smug than Birthday Dog
From TMB. I lost.
My favorite story my dad tells is when he encountered a gibbon...now the only creature on Earth he wishes wiped off the planet. He used to work at a fence company, and got called do a repair to the lock on a chain link enclosure. It turns out it was some guy's homemade gibbon cage. My dad didn't need to go inside, just work on the lock on the outside. But the ****ing gibbon kept running up to the door and shaking it like crazy. My dad says he finally just screamed at it and it ran off to a corner. He presumed he was just scared and that's why the gibbon turned his back to him. Nope. The gibbon jerked off and then threw his jizz all over my dad through the door. He grabbed a water hose and just soaked the **** out of it. He said this was in like October, so he always says "I hope that ****ing gibbon froze to death." Any time we went to the zoo in my life and passed the gibbons, my dad would always through out a few choice insults