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Thread: Current gay NFL player may come out in next few months

  1. -61
    Locke's Avatar
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    I think it's hard for a straight person to truly understand how difficult it is to live in the closet, myself included. A friend of mine told me to try to imagine that you lived somewhere that not only found your religion disgusting, but persecuted you for it. Imagine begin a Christian/Athiest/Catholic and living in an Islamic Theocracy. If anyone knew what your religion was, you would be arrested, beaten, shunned, etc. For most people their faith a huge part of who they are and they would not be OK with being forced to hide that part of themselves. Now if you can imagine how upset you would be to have to hide that part of your life from not only the public, but EVERYONE you know, then you might have an idea of how it feels for a gay man/woman to live in the closet.

    If you don't find that upsetting, frustrating, etc, then you're probably just incapable of understanding what it's like to live in the closet. I'm just glad it's not something I'll ever have to deal with...

    If I could take your pain and frame it, and hang it on my wall,
    maybe you would never have to hurt again...

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    Re: Current gay NFL player may come out in next few months

    Quote Originally Posted by Locke View Post
    I think it's hard for a straight person to truly understand how difficult it is to live in the closet, myself included. A friend of mine told me to try to imagine that you lived somewhere that not only found your religion disgusting, but persecuted you for it. Imagine begin a Christian/Athiest/Catholic and living in an Islamic Theocracy. If anyone knew what your religion was, you would be arrested, beaten, shunned, etc. For most people their faith a huge part of who they are and they would not be OK with being forced to hide that part of themselves. Now if you can imagine how upset you would be to have to hide that part of your life from not only the public, but EVERYONE you know, then you might have an idea of how it feels for a gay man/woman to live in the closet.

    If you don't find that upsetting, frustrating, etc, then you're probably just incapable of understanding what it's like to live in the closet. I'm just glad it's not something I'll ever have to deal with...
    I definitely can not be easy and I certainly have compassion for anyone facing that dilemma.
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  3. -63
    GoFins!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rob19 View Post
    Then obviously you wouldn't begrudge any player who decided to come out. After all any media they receive from it would be the media's fault & not the player's, right? See, I hardly think not wanting to live your life in secrecy is equal to an insidious, premeditated plot for media attention.
    There's a lot of gray area between being open and holding a press conference to "come out".

    Quote Originally Posted by rob19 View Post
    Also I have to think you're being supremely disingenuous with your boyscout example. You honestly expect me to believe that the only problem you'd have with gay boy-scout masters is that they'd talk about it? Let's be real. You'd have no problem with a boy-scout master bringing his wife along for the camping trip, but I highly doubt you'd be okay with a boy-scout master bringing along his husband for the camping trip.
    Spouses don't share sleeping quarters and relations are a no-no. Any adult leader is not allowed to alone with any scout other than his son.

    The rules apply to all genders and orientations and have allowed many Scout leaders of all orientations to serve without issue. The issue facing Scouts is gays want to openly volunteer and the BSA is not sure what that means and how it will affect the involvement of the sponsoring organizations.

    Quote Originally Posted by rob19 View Post
    As long as they don't talk about it, right? See, in reality it's not just about them discussing their sexuality, it's about them hiding it completely.
    There is no sexuality discussed in Scouts. The issue doesn't come up one way or the other. A man/woman, two men, or two women holding hands, or a peck on the cheek, or a "see you at home honey" comment isn't an issue to vast majority - so no, it's definitely not "hiding". There are surely some devout Scouts parents who would be opposed to gays volunteering but most aren't.

    Probably 99% of Scout Leaders are parent or grand-parent volunteers who are there to expose their sons to a curriculum not available in most schools. The other 1% are parents of former scouts who are still helping out - for example, a Cub Scout leader sticking around to help out a Cub Scout Pack even though his own son has moved on to Boy Scouts. It's not a place where parent's talk about their own personal lives. Scouts is about the boys, not about the volunteer leaders.
    Last edited by GoFins!; 04-06-2013 at 10:37 PM.
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    GoFins!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MoFinz View Post
    I thought the boy scouts already let gays in....
    The national organization does nothing to keep them out. Each Pack/Troop makes their own decision. My impressions/experiences might be different than someone who lives in a more conservative area. I live in a very "blue" county that controls the outcome of state elections, but I live far enough out that I consider my local area to be somewhat moderate or even slightly conservative.
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  5. -65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Locke View Post
    I think it's hard for a straight person to truly understand how difficult it is to live in the closet, myself included. A friend of mine told me to try to imagine that you lived somewhere that not only found your religion disgusting, but persecuted you for it. Imagine begin a Christian/Athiest/Catholic and living in an Islamic Theocracy. If anyone knew what your religion was, you would be arrested, beaten, shunned, etc. For most people their faith a huge part of who they are and they would not be OK with being forced to hide that part of themselves. Now if you can imagine how upset you would be to have to hide that part of your life from not only the public, but EVERYONE you know, then you might have an idea of how it feels for a gay man/woman to live in the closet.

    If you don't find that upsetting, frustrating, etc, then you're probably just incapable of understanding what it's like to live in the closet. I'm just glad it's not something I'll ever have to deal with...
    A friend of mine who is a fairly devout Christian is an in the closet gay and only a handful of people KNOW hes gay, but I think most people suspect it because he tends to look the part. He doesnt do anything with men because he feels its wrong, but he also doesnt go out with women because he isnt very attracted to them sexually. I dont envy his situation at all.

    The craziest thing is he cant even tell people he is gay, even though he chooses to not act on it, because many people still dont grasp that regardless of how you choose to act on the desires, if you desire to sleep with the same sex you are in fact gay. A lot of people think you can just have sex with a woman and youre not gay anymore, like its a conscious choice who they find attractive and think youre only gay if you somehow make a conscious choice to find the same sex attractive. If youre gay youre gay and no amount of banging women is gonna change that.




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    Quote Originally Posted by Locke View Post
    I think it's hard for a straight person to truly understand how difficult it is to live in the closet, myself included. A friend of mine told me to try to imagine that you lived somewhere that not only found your religion disgusting, but persecuted you for it. Imagine begin a Christian/Athiest/Catholic and living in an Islamic Theocracy. If anyone knew what your religion was, you would be arrested, beaten, shunned, etc. For most people their faith a huge part of who they are and they would not be OK with being forced to hide that part of themselves. Now if you can imagine how upset you would be to have to hide that part of your life from not only the public, but EVERYONE you know, then you might have an idea of how it feels for a gay man/woman to live in the closet.

    If you don't find that upsetting, frustrating, etc, then you're probably just incapable of understanding what it's like to live in the closet. I'm just glad it's not something I'll ever have to deal with...
    I see your point and agree that being gay comes a whole bunch of difficulties. However, lets not compare being gay in the USA, to being a devout Christian in a Muslim country. Over half the people in this country support gay marriage. There is a small minority that is violently opposed.
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  7. -67
    finintheburgh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Locke View Post
    I think it's hard for a straight person to truly understand how difficult it is to live in the closet, myself included. A friend of mine told me to try to imagine that you lived somewhere that not only found your religion disgusting, but persecuted you for it. Imagine begin a Christian/Athiest/Catholic and living in an Islamic Theocracy. If anyone knew what your religion was, you would be arrested, beaten, shunned, etc. For most people their faith a huge part of who they are and they would not be OK with being forced to hide that part of themselves. Now if you can imagine how upset you would be to have to hide that part of your life from not only the public, but EVERYONE you know, then you might have an idea of how it feels for a gay man/woman to live in the closet.

    If you don't find that upsetting, frustrating, etc, then you're probably just incapable of understanding what it's like to live in the closet. I'm just glad it's not something I'll ever have to deal with...
    why is it called living in the closet and why is the gay a victim? if a person feels people are his/her friends then why do they feel the need to deceive them. if they cant tell them they are gay then they must not be true friends, so i dont understand what is accomplished by deceiving people, if they dont except it so be it. why would you want to be around those people for anyway.
    if i was jewish i wouldnt want to pretend i was polish just to hang out with skinheads.
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  8. -68
    TheWalrus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by finintheburgh View Post
    why is it called living in the closet and why is the gay a victim? if a person feels people are his/her friends then why do they feel the need to deceive them. if they cant tell them they are gay then they must not be true friends, so i dont understand what is accomplished by deceiving people, if they dont except it so be it. why would you want to be around those people for anyway.
    if i was jewish i wouldnt want to pretend i was polish just to hang out with skinheads.


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    Quote Originally Posted by finintheburgh View Post
    why is it called living in the closet and why is the gay a victim? if a person feels people are his/her friends then why do they feel the need to deceive them. if they cant tell them they are gay then they must not be true friends, so i dont understand what is accomplished by deceiving people, if they dont except it so be it. why would you want to be around those people for anyway.
    if i was jewish i wouldnt want to pretend i was polish just to hang out with skinheads.
    Because "the gay" face persecution, even from those that are not their friends. From religious groups who picket their funerals, to politicians calling them filth, to the government denying them rights. As well, how much private information do you give your friends? Medical records? Credit Card information? Social Security number? I doubt all of that. Why? Because its private and none of their business. Add sexual experiences to that list for some people, and not just for "the gay".

    But hey, its the friends that are the victim because "the gay" is deceiving them.

    Its amazing how your not getting this.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spesh View Post
    Because "the gay" face persecution, even from those that are not their friends. From religious groups who picket their funerals, to politicians calling them filth, to the government denying them rights. As well, how much private information do you give your friends? Medical records? Credit Card information? Social Security number? I doubt all of that. Why? Because its private and none of their business. Add sexual experiences to that list for some people, and not just for "the gay".

    But hey, its the friends that are the victim because "the gay" is deceiving them.

    Its amazing how your not getting this.
    I think you're being kind of hard on him Spesh; I think he makes a good point. All those 13 year old gay boys living in Mississippi with homophobic fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, they're all just cowards imo. Deceitful cowards.
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