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Thread: The Anything Goes Fantasy Football Thread

  1. -1
    Spesh's Avatar
    Fat Kid

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    The Anything Goes Fantasy Football Thread



    As was foretold, so it shall be. Like the phoenix, the PoFo Fantasy Football League has arisen in order to spread its wings and fly high once more. Except in our case, instead of being reborn from noble ashes we just sort of woke up groggy, hungover, and possibly missing a kidney. And by "fly high" I am of course referring to our race to the bottom of the cesspool. After last years mass roofying which caused us to forget who won, though we sure as hell remember who lost, we have committed a hard reboot. By expanding the league to 11 victims and 1 Spesh, dividing each other up based on our now publicly known spiritual beliefs, and making an extra effort to mock forum members and ridicule popular myths with our league awards, we feel we can deliver a much more vile experience to last years test run. With that in mind...

    In the proud Ft. Pouncey Correctional Facility there stands two divisions.

    The pack of claw swinging, prey devouring, king of the damn jungle Lions include:

    The Insidious Liberal Media(Spesh)
    Hands up, Don't Poot!(TheWalrus)
    Libtards Muslim Ticklers(Locke)
    Free Hernandez(Gonzo)
    Josh Gordon's Stash(PhinPhan11)
    And that guy who really needs to change his ****ing team name(Valandui)

    Meanwhile, the roll call for the arts-and-craft Christian Sunday school class include:

    Picklewagon Express(Harry_Bagpipe)
    28 Grahams(rob19)
    GeorgeZimmerman Security Inc.(Mr. Hankey)
    Donkey Jaws(Buddy)
    Dion Jordan's Medicine Chest(Louphin)
    Abstinence Warriors(COphinphan)

    The Walrus cheating will begi....err, the draft will occur on August 28th at 8 pm EST. The order is:

    1) Harry_Bagpipe
    2) TheWalrus
    3) Glorious Spesh
    4) Mr. Hankey
    5) Louphin
    6) Rob19
    7) PhinPhan11
    8) COphinphan
    9) Gonzo
    10) Buddy
    11) Valandui
    12) Locke

    Anyone who wants to follow us can find the league home here:
    http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/leagueo...&seasonId=2014

    And credit for that brilliant piece of art above goes to Disturbed Shifty.
    Last edited by Spesh; 08-26-2014 at 01:21 AM.
    "I'm not here to be a distraction," Pouncey said.
    http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10...ogical-testing
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  2. -2
    TheWalrus's Avatar
    1/7/14

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    There needs to be some sort of punishment each week for the team with the lowest score. A hideous avatar or something that people have to keep here on the forum until the next week. I'd ask Harry to do it but the only thing he has on his computer is gay porn.

    Anyway, **** everyone. **** you all. **** Jesus. **** the Pope. By the time this league is over I'll have stitched you all into a human centipede and poured a mix of raisins, yoghurt and habaneros into one end and watched the mix of foul, racid, spicy **** make it's way from one unit to the next. You'll be begging for a bullet.

    You won't get one.
    Last edited by TheWalrus; 08-08-2013 at 01:23 AM.
    No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
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  3. -3
    PhinsPhan11's Avatar
    Phins & Philly Sports

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  4. -4
    Spesh's Avatar
    Fat Kid

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    In order to get everyone caught up on the vast history of our 2 day league, heres how its all unfolded:

    -Walrus suggests we started a league for our foul mouthed ideologues. Thread responds with



    -Rob is flabbergasted, we explain





    -Bunch of funny names later, league made




    -Harry posts something about anus' on the message board, COphin responds with



    -Spesh learns of draft order, demands justice





    -Locke sees hes picking last in the draft



    -Harry posts again on the message board


    And our response




    You are now caught up.
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  5. -5
    Locke's Avatar
    They looked like strong hands.

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    Should also add that this was Spesh the entire time this was happening...


    If I could take your pain and frame it, and hang it on my wall,
    maybe you would never have to hurt again...

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  6. -6
    Harry_Bagpipe's Avatar
    Archibald Meatpants

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    Snakes!Dolphins HomerDolphin
    Sweet. Much better than message board. I sense thread of the year potential.
    Last edited by Harry_Bagpipe; 08-08-2013 at 08:36 AM.
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  7. -7
    TheWalrus's Avatar
    1/7/14

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    So I think people were too traumatized by Harry's, uh... gay porn. But it turns out I found an article about him, too. It's very sad, really. Very sad. Get help!

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  8. -8
    Harry_Bagpipe's Avatar
    Archibald Meatpants

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    Snakes!Dolphins HomerDolphin
    Meanwhile at Locke's wedding

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  9. -9
    Harry_Bagpipe's Avatar
    Archibald Meatpants

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    Snakes!Dolphins HomerDolphin
    Where am I drafting? League notes say 9 but actual draft room has me at 8. I'm assuming me and gonzo accidentally got flipped flopped when league notes were written
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  10. -10
    TheWalrus's Avatar
    1/7/14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Harry_Bagpipe View Post
    Where am I drafting? League notes say 9 but actual draft room has me at 8. I'm assuming me and gonzo accidentally got flipped flopped when league notes were written
    You're drafting ninth. The original posted order is the right one. I input the draft order manually and did it from memory and flipped you and Gonzo.
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