Yes, in this case it's all in my head. At least I think so. Nobody yells at me, but you never quite know.
People of other races in this country have a lot more reason to think that white people dislike them that I have to think that these people don't like me for some reason. There's a long history of racism, not to mention a long history of people who have no idea what their life experiences are like telling them that their feelings are wrong.
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
Looking different is just an obvious way of being different. But really it's being different that isolates you.
I have been to places where I was the distinct minority. In fact, I do it every day at my work. All of my bosses and 95 percent of my coworkers are black. A majority of the inmates are black as well. (That is significant because a white male automatically is treated differently by inmates in a corrections environment due to stereotypes that white men have. Yep, we are stereotyped too.) .....and I LOVE my job. I don't feel out of place at all, but it is due to my perception of things. I have been treated differently at times. No one owes me a damned thing.
But there are a few things that I do know that most people in this ignorant world don't seem to understand, a few things that seems to escape most people.......I control my happiness. Nobody decides for me whether or not I will have a good day, but me. My perception of each and every life experience creates my reality, and my successes or failures are all of my own doing. (As long as I continue to learn from every experience, there really are no failures.)
I just wish everyone else could take the same approach. No excuses. My feeling whether good or bad are my fault. I can't blame anyone else for them.