If everybody else is gonna do it lol. Here are the 1st 50 selections with trades, quips, and misspellings aplenty.
PhishyPhishy NFL mock 1.0
Strap in, this one is gonna be fun!
1. Cleveland Browns - Johnny Manziel QB
That's right. The St. Louis Manziel love gets Cleveland scared and they swap with Houston to nab the man they have coveted from the start. I personally think he is a bust but if he can stay healthy, he and Gordon are gonna be fun to watch.
2. Oakland Raiders - Sammy Watkins WR
In a similar move to Cleveland, Oakland jumps Jacksonville and takes their prize Watkins.
3. Jacksonville Jaguars - Teddy Bridgewater QB
Total panic move. With Watkins off the board they go with the QB to better their offense.
4. Houston Texans - Jadeveon Clowney DE
Never dreaming Clowney would drop in their laps at 4. The Texans sprint to the podium. Well played Houston.
5. St. Louis Rams - Greg Robinson OT
Rams get their lineman and another pick in the 3rd and 4th.
6. Atlanta Falcons - Jake Matthews OT
They tried like hell to make a move for Clowney but Houston was quite content having gotten Cleveland's other 1st round selection in the Manziel deal.
7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Aaron Donald DT
A lot of mocks have Mike Evans here. Lovie Smith will be taking a defensive player first in my opinion.
8. Dallas Cowboys - Khalil Mack OLB/DE
I present Jerry Jones being Jerry Jones. Ware who?
9. Buffalo Bills - Mike Evans WR
Gotta get Manuel weapons in Buffalo. Would not be shocked to see Ebron here instead.
10. Detroit Lions - Darqueze Dennard CB
If Evans is here, he is the pick. They settle for the biggest need at CB. I see really good things for Dennard.
11. Tennessee Titans - Zach Martin OL
They pass on the questionable Lewan and go for the surer thing.
12. New York Giants - Taylor Lewan OT
Happy to take him, baggage and all. They have to protect Eli and hope he can reclaim his Super Bowl form.
13. St. Louis Rams - Calvin Pryor S
They have a playoff worthy front 7 on d. Pryor will bring the much needed edge to their secondary to complete the defense. If Bradford can finally step up behind Robinson and Long they are a team to watch. Love their draft potential.
14. Chicago Bears - HaHa Clinton Dix S
The man they covet falls into their lap. A great step in the right direction on rebuilding that D.
15. Pittsburgh Steelers - Eric Ebron TE
A great pick up for Pitt at a position of massive need.
16. Minnesota Vikings - Blake Bortles QB
A better spot to nab their franchise QB. I am really pulling for Bortles to Minny. Follow in Culpeppers footsteps.
17. Baltimore Ravens - Anthony Barr OLB
I expect a defense heavy draft for the Ravens starting with this pick.
18. NY Jets - Justin Gilbert CB
19. Houston Texans - Derrick Carr QB
In a surprise move Houston uses 26 and 33 to jump Arizona and get their QB. The Dolphins also gave up a 4th in the deal.
20. Arizona Cardinals - Ra'sheen Hagemon DT
21. Green Bay Packers - Kony Ealy DE
The Packers need more speed on D off the edge if they hope to contain the new breed of NFC playoff QBs.
22. Philadelphia Eagles - Odell Beckham WR
Easy pick for the Eagles here. Jackson who?
23. Kansas City Chiefs - Xavier Suafilo G
24. Cincinnati Bengals - Justin Gilbert CB
Big time player this late in the draft. If Cincy could just replace Dalton that team could be great.
25. San Diego Chargers - Brandon Cooks WR
New toy for Rivers. Will it help. Probably not.
26. Miami Dolphins - CJ Mosley ILB
Anchor for their defense missing since the departure of Thomas. A move back in this draft is in their best interest.
27. New Orleans Saints - Ryan Shazier LB
28. Carolina Panthers - Marquis Lee WR
29. New England Patriots - Louis Nix DT
30. San Francisco 49ers - Cody Latimer WR
31. Denver Broncos - Kyle Fuller CB
Steal if he is around this late.
32. Seattle Seahawks - Joel Bitonio OL
33. Miami Dolphins - JaWuan James OT
Well played fish. With a 1st round grade James is a huge value and need for the Dolphins.
34. Washington Rednecks - Morgan Moses OT
35. Cleveland Browns - Jordan Matthews WR
36. Oakland Raiders - Timmy Jernigan DT
37. Atlanta Falcons - Dee Ford DE
38. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Kelvin Benjamin WR
39. Jacksonville Jaguars - Cyrus Koijandijo OT
40. Minnesota Viking - Bradly Roby CB
41. Buffalo Bills - Jace Amaro TE
42. Tennessee Titans - Jason Verrett CB
43. New York Giants - Dominique Easley DT
44. St. Louis Rams - Carlos Hyde RB
45. Detroit Lions - Cameron Fleming OT
46. Pittsburgh Steelers - Tre Mason RB
47. Minnesota Vikings - Austin Sefran Jenkins TE
Dallas 1st rnd trade
48. Baltimore Ravens - Jimmie Ward S
49. New York Jets - Troy Niklas TE
50. Miami Dolphins - Martavis Bryant WR
Love his upside, end zone threat missing with their current crop or receivers.
And I will stop at 50 as I don't much care to continue. Of course this was all a big waste of time but hey w.e. It's fun to dream.