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Thread: Political Joke Thread

  1. -11
    CharlestonPhan's Avatar
    just a little cattywampus

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    ""Al Gore is back in the news. You haven't thought about Al Gore in a while. Don't feel guilty about it. Al Gore has put on 40 pounds since losing the election and experts contribute this to depression. That's right. In a related story, Michael Dukakis now weighs 12,000 pounds." —Conan O'Brien"

    ROFLMAO
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  2. -12
    Gone

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    Remember....it's a joke.

    10 reasons why beer is better than organized religion.

    10. No one tells you that you'll be punished for all eternity for not drinking Beer.
    9. Beer doesn't tell you to abstain from sex. In reality, it helps promote it!
    8. Beer has never caused a major war.
    7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
    6. There are many kinds of Beer. No one will tell you that Bud is the ONLY Beer.
    5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
    4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
    3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
    2. You can prove Beer exists!

    And finally!

    1. If you are crazy enough to devote your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop!

    :roflmao:
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  3. -13
    ohall's Avatar
    A Miami Dolphins fan, not a players fan.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pagan
    Remember....it's a joke.

    10 reasons why beer is better than organized religion.

    10. No one tells you that you'll be punished for all eternity for not drinking Beer.
    9. Beer doesn't tell you to abstain from sex. In reality, it helps promote it!
    8. Beer has never caused a major war.
    7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
    6. There are many kinds of Beer. No one will tell you that Bud is the ONLY Beer.
    5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
    4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
    3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
    2. You can prove Beer exists!

    And finally!

    1. If you are crazy enough to devote your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop!

    :roflmao:
    Good ones.
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  4. -14
    finataxia24's Avatar
    follow me at @moejo31

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    Games: Presidential Knockout -- Kerry Vs. Bush

    http://www.globalspot.com/games/pres...knockout.shtml
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  5. -15
    TerryTate's Avatar
    Hall Of Famer

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  6. -16
    Blitz's Avatar
    The Big Zonk

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    Quote Quote  

  7. -17
    DOLFANMIKE's Avatar
    NFL'S WINNINGEST TEAM

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    I was riding my scooter to work the other day when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
    This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.
    "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
    I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
    There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
    Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
    Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
    According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
    According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
    And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
    According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.
    That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
    Flip one off? ....... I think not!
    1972: THE ONLY PERFECT SEASON!


    All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
    Bobby Knight
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  8. -18
    painnotpleasure's Avatar
    Hall Of Famer

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  9. -19
    Blitz's Avatar
    The Big Zonk

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    Quote Originally Posted by painnotpleasure
    Photoshop is wonderful.

    Which do you want leading our country:



    The Male Cheerleader

    Or



    The hockey and football players
    Quote Quote  

  10. -20
    MischiefDolphin's Avatar
    The Man The Myth The Kung Fu Master

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    :roflmao: :roflmao:
    Quote Originally Posted by DOLFANMIKE
    I was riding my scooter to work the other day when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
    This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.
    "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
    I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
    There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
    Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
    Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
    According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
    According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
    And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
    According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.
    That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
    Flip one off? ....... I think not!
    :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
    Quote Quote  

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