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Thread: Political Joke Thread

  1. -21
    Section126's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blitz
    Photoshop is wonderful.

    Which do you want leading our country:



    The Male Cheerleader

    Or



    The hockey and football players
    Funny thing is that GWB is twice the athlete that those two goofballs are.
    "We Dolphin fans here, if you don't like the Dolphins then **** ya, you don't know nutin' bout that, that is the way we are born here in the 305, if you don't like the Dolphins, then **** ya, simple as that." - Trick Daddy
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  2. -22
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    just a joke

    GEORGE BUSH GOES TO HELL

    One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
    "I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
    I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

    In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

    The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

    The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
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  3. -23
    NaboCane's Avatar
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    Background: Elian Gonzales was a little boy from Cuba who left the island on a raft with his mother; his mother died on that journey. The boy's father, who was supportive of the government in Cuba, had been unaware of his wife's plans to leave the island, taking their son with them. Mayhem ensued when the father invoked his legal parental right and petitioned to have the boy returned to Cuba to live with him - the exile community in Miami fought fiercely to keep the boy, while the Cuban government fought to have him returned to his dad...and all this unfolded during the time of the Monica Lewinsky scandal.




    During the Elian Gonzales crisis, the two sides could not agree on whether little Elian should be returned to Cuba to live with his father, or stay in Miami where he could enjoy the freedom and benefits of living in the United States.

    They finally each sent an emmissary to see Bill Clinton and ask for his help in deciding the issue.

    Clinton met with them, and after hearing both sides of the argument, said, "Oh, no...the last time I decided where to put a Cuban, I got in a lot of trouble!


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  4. -24
    Blitz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Section126
    Funny thing is that GWB is twice the athlete that those two goofballs are.
    Did you come to that conclusion after studying tape from the "Male Cheerleading Years"?
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  5. -25
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  6. -26
    MischiefDolphin's Avatar
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    An 80 year old Arab American man lives close to New York City. He would love to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His only son is working in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "My beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my
    garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would have helped me and dug up the garden for me. I love you, your father."

    The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son, "My beloved father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'THE THING' that I can't tell you about. I love you too, Ahmad".

    At 4 pm the Anti- Terrorism units of the US Army, the Marines, the FBI and the CIA visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed, they apologize and leave the house. The next day, the old man receives another e-mail from his son: "My beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here on such short notice. I love you, Ahmad."
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  7. -27
    Dolphan7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MischiefDolphin
    An 80 year old Arab American man lives close to New York City. He would love to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His only son is working in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "My beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my
    garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would have helped me and dug up the garden for me. I love you, your father."

    The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son, "My beloved father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'THE THING' that I can't tell you about. I love you too, Ahmad".

    At 4 pm the Anti- Terrorism units of the US Army, the Marines, the FBI and the CIA visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed, they apologize and leave the house. The next day, the old man receives another e-mail from his son: "My beloved father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here on such short notice. I love you, Ahmad."
    This is freakin' hilarious!:rofl3:

    Players come and go, but I will always be a Miami Dolphins Fan first and foremost.




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  8. -28
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  9. -29
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  10. -30
    DonShula84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by finataxia24



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