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Thread: Political Joke Thread

  1. -111
    maninblack25's Avatar
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  2. -112
    tay0365's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeDolfan
    Nah, they ain't "left biased", they're just conservatively challenged !!

    I like that.
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  3. -113
    tay0365's Avatar
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  4. -114
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  5. -115
    DeDolfan's Avatar
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    Poor Hillary!!!

    Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about
    the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up
    his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is.
    "Kenneth."
    "And what is your question, Kenneth?"
    "I have three questions: First - whatever happened to the medical
    health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years
    as President?
    Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed
    the office?
    Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you
    left the White House?"
    Just then, the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the
    kids that they will continue after recess.
    When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's
    right, question time. Who has a question?"
    A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points him out
    and asks him what his name is.
    "Larry."
    "And what is your question, Larry?"
    "I have five questions: First - whatever happened to the medical
    health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years
    as President?
    Second - why would you run for President after your husband
    shamed the office?
    Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you
    left the White House?
    Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
    Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"
    DD..................the #1 Delaware Dolfan !!!



    Doing things you don't have to do today will help to determine where you'll be tomorrow when you can't do anything about it!
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  6. -116
    tay0365's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeDolfan
    Poor Hillary!!!

    Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about
    the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up
    his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is.
    "Kenneth."
    "And what is your question, Kenneth?"
    "I have three questions: First - whatever happened to the medical
    health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years
    as President?
    Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed
    the office?
    Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you
    left the White House?"
    Just then, the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the
    kids that they will continue after recess.
    When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's
    right, question time. Who has a question?"
    A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points him out
    and asks him what his name is.
    "Larry."
    "And what is your question, Larry?"
    "I have five questions: First - whatever happened to the medical
    health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years
    as President?
    Second - why would you run for President after your husband
    shamed the office?
    Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you
    left the White House?
    Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
    Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"

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  7. -117
    ffphin's Avatar
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    Most of you probally already saw this but here you go... Its the video of Bush and the other guy singing "This is my Land"http://images2.shockwave.com/afasset.../this_land.swf
    "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.."
    -G. K. Chesterton






    "The last time I cryed over football, was when Tom Brady got hurt. And those were tears of joy. YOUR COACH IS A CHEATER, YOUR RINGS ARE A LIE, YOU BACK UP FROM MICHIGAN!" Josh.0
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  8. -118
    PeaTearGriffin's Avatar
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  9. -119
    DeDolfan's Avatar
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    Cows & Politics Explained

    AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

    AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

    A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

    A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

    A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

    AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

    AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
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  10. -120
    Blitz's Avatar
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