Ralph Nader, Al Gore, and George W. Bush go to a fitness spa for some fun.
After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decide to visit the men's room and they find a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance who says; "Welcome to the gentlemen's room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror that, if you look into it and say something truthful,you will be rewarded with your wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
The men quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, Ralph Nader steps up and says, "I think I'm the most truthful of us three," and he suddenly finds the keys to a brand new Bentley in his hands.
Al Gore steps up and says, "I think I'm the most ambitious of us three," and in an instant, he was surrounded by a pile of money to fund his next Presidential Campaign.
Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, George W. Bush looks into the mirror and says, "I think...," and is promptly sucked into the mirror.
I am an equal opportunity poster.
I post on all these sites:
- T H E P H I N S . C O M
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway.
Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What
"Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted
Kennedy, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
They are asking for a $10 million ransom... Otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on
"About a gallon."
If you use your Mind, Body and Spirit together, you can accomplish anything. If you believe it, you can achieve it!
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive ; with NO memory
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting
The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did
The Ted Kennedy Virus - Makes a Hard drive Abnormally large, takes up a lot of space, then become useless, but loud enough to remind everyone it is there
The Howard Dean Virus - Makes the computer unstable, gradually becomes louder and hotter, then finally explodes
The Hillary Clinton Virus - Turns your computer into a cold box that will only give you the information you want to hear, no matter if it's the truth or a lie
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted
The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows
DD..................the #1 Delaware Dolfan !!!
Doing things you don't have to do today will help to determine where you'll be tomorrow when you can't do anything about it!
"We Dolphin fans here, if you don't like the Dolphins then **** ya, you don't know nutin' bout that, that is the way we are born here in the 305, if you don't like the Dolphins, then **** ya, simple as that." - Trick Daddy
That's exactly what's going to happen if people do not vote for change in Washington this November.Originally Posted by DeDolfan