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Thread: Political Joke Thread

  1. -121
    tay0365's Avatar
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    * 1st and only President to ever perjure himself...Congrats Bill, you have your legacy
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  2. -122
    Fading...

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    The Mirror

    Ralph Nader, Al Gore, and George W. Bush go to a fitness spa for some fun.

    After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decide to visit the men's room and they find a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance who says; "Welcome to the gentlemen's room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror that, if you look into it and say something truthful,you will be rewarded with your wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"

    The men quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, Ralph Nader steps up and says, "I think I'm the most truthful of us three," and he suddenly finds the keys to a brand new Bentley in his hands.

    Al Gore steps up and says, "I think I'm the most ambitious of us three," and in an instant, he was surrounded by a pile of money to fund his next Presidential Campaign.

    Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, George W. Bush looks into the mirror and says, "I think...," and is promptly sucked into the mirror.
    I am an equal opportunity poster.
    I post on all these sites:
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  3. -123
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    Car Jacked!!!

    A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway.
    Nothing is moving.

    Suddenly a man knocks on the window.

    The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What
    happened?"

    "Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted
    Kennedy, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
    They are asking for a $10 million ransom... Otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire.
    We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."

    The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on
    average?"

    "About a gallon."
    If you use your Mind, Body and Spirit together, you can accomplish anything. If you believe it, you can achieve it!
    Criss Angel
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  4. -124
    Blitz's Avatar
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  5. -125
    tay0365's Avatar
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    New Viruses:


    The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

    The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

    The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive ; with NO memory

    The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting

    The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy

    The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did

    The Ted Kennedy Virus - Makes a Hard drive Abnormally large, takes up a lot of space, then become useless, but loud enough to remind everyone it is there

    The Howard Dean Virus - Makes the computer unstable, gradually becomes louder and hotter, then finally explodes

    The Hillary Clinton Virus - Turns your computer into a cold box that will only give you the information you want to hear, no matter if it's the truth or a lie

    The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back

    The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes

    The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB

    The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted

    The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

    The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows
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  6. -126
    DeDolfan's Avatar
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    DD..................the #1 Delaware Dolfan !!!



    Doing things you don't have to do today will help to determine where you'll be tomorrow when you can't do anything about it!
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  7. -127
    BAMAPHIN 22's Avatar
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  8. -128
    Section126's Avatar
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    Al Gore.
    "We Dolphin fans here, if you don't like the Dolphins then **** ya, you don't know nutin' bout that, that is the way we are born here in the 305, if you don't like the Dolphins, then **** ya, simple as that." - Trick Daddy
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  9. -129
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  10. -130
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    That's exactly what's going to happen if people do not vote for change in Washington this November.
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