Fresh from CNN:
Cindy McCain Claims She's Just Like Any Other Female Human
Advocates of change
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/24/di...food.html?_r=1FROM the moment it was clear that Barack Obama was going to be president, people who have dedicated their lives to changing how America eats thought they had found their St. Nicholas.
Borowitz has some good ones lately, last 2:
A-Rod Backs Stimulus
Says Economy Needs Shot in Arm
President Barack Obama picked up support for his stimulus package from an unexpected source today as Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez said that he was "totally in favor of stimulus."
"Sometimes when you have to get the job done, you need a shot in the arm," said Mr. Rodriguez at a press conference in the parking lot of Yankee Stadium. "This stimulus sounds like it could be that injection."http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6989At his press conference today, Mr. Rodriguez bristled when asked questions about steroid use, at one point throwing a car at a reporter.
Obama Considers Tax on Cabinet
Would Create Budget Surplus, Experts Believe
President Barack Obama is mulling a controversial new tax program that would require members of his Cabinet to pay taxes owed under the Federal tax code, the White House confirmed today.
While the unorthodox tax proposal is reportedly "only in the planning stages," it is being eyed as a possible way to balance the Federal budget.When told of Mr. Obama's plan to make his Cabinet members pay taxes, Fmr. Sen. Tom Daschle responded, "Whew! Sounds like I dodged a bullet."
Two wealthy Repubs are sitting in a restaurant, one of them being the owner.
The owner turns to his guest and says, "See? I'm doing my part to help the economy, I just opened up three new jobs in my restaurant."
Just as the two get finished toasting each other's success, the busboy comes by to clear off their dishes and says, "I know, I have all three of them."
This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwing everybody!"
How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. If the liberals would just leave it alone, it would change itself.
I am out goodnight
To Change Your Heart